"Break
It Up: Fragmenting for Clarity
"If the
sentence exceeds 40 or at most 50 or so words and you can
break it up, do so. Even though it is not feasible to state
how long is too long in terms of the number of words in a
sentence, a sentence that exceeds about 40 words is usually
dangerous. Be sure that all the relevant content of each
sentence can reasonably be retained by the reader as a
coherent set of related ideas. If you have a problem
remembering every aspect of the sentence, break up the
sentence, even if this requires some repetition.
"Fragmenting for clarity consists of the use of defined
terms, the elimination of parenthetical phrases and
avoiding long sentences. Long sentences are imprecise and
usually reflect muddled thinking. Once a sentence is
fragmented, it often develops that there are a variety of
meanings to the sentence, many of which may not be
consistent with the intent of the drafter. In certain
jurisdictions, it has been, in the past, a rule of
statutory construction that punctuation was not to be
considered in interpreting a statute. Until at least the
middle of the last century, the practice in Pennsylvania
had been to enact all legislation without punctuation.
Punctuation was added by the Office of the Secretary of the
Commonwealth, who was responsible for the publication of
the enrolled legislation.
"The division-fragmenting process may significantly
increase the number of words required to express the
concept and thus lengthen the document as a whole. This is
not a significant price to pay for clarity. Understandably
non-lawyers, and indeed many lawyers, abhor long legal
documents. Nevertheless, if the choice is between brevity
and clarity, the choice should be clarity unless your
client is seeking ambiguities or confusion. This appears to
be a reasonable cost to achieve the increased clarity one
is seeking. Thus, in lieu of attaching a “provided that” at
the end of a sentence that consists of a subsection of a
document, divide the subsection into several clauses and
include the proviso in a subsection introduced by the
words:
The
provisions of subsection [insert] above shall not apply
if."